Star Wars in 3D? George Lucas Joins the Dark Side!

Star Wars in 3D? In the immortal words of Yoda ‘That is why you fail!’ George! George! What are you doing? I can’t believe it. I’ve just read that the eponymous Mr Lucas who by now has so much money that his beard is made from pure platinum is planning to give his films the 3D treatment. No! They weren’t made that way George. Haven’t you heard the bad reviews of Clash of the Titans etc. Don’t do it! It’s bad enough that you made the prequels in the first place but now you want to bring them out of the screen and into the cinema. Why would I endure 136minutes (running time for the Phantom Menace) in 3D glasses only to see Jar Jar Binks dancing around the auditorium? He was annoying enough in 2D. In fact there’s a good case to remake this film in 1D! How about a radio show with new actors (selected by a casting director who doesn’t have a white stick and no ears!). Inevitably the original trilogy will find their way into this misconceived revenue building escapade and so they’ll go the way of the dodo with everything else that is 3D these days. Why do we even need 3D films and TV? Is it a ploy to cover up the lack of good writing in Hollywood? I sat through a miserable half an hour of Avatar before I couldn’t take anymore of the cheesy story and bailed. How much does 3D really add? I’ll tell you how much it adds, it adds money to your cinema ticket price and, for those gullible enough to be drawn in by it, it adds about a grand to the price of your TV! 3D TV? What a racket that is. What’s on 3D TV? How many shows are in 3D? I expect John Logie-Baird had better viewing choice. Until I can literally switch my TV on and find myself sitting in the Death Star, forget it, I’m not interested. I won’t be watching TV in glasses till I’m drawing a pension thank you very much! Why spend money developing 3D when it could be spent on making hover boards! Now that would be a technological leap. So anyway, there it is, Star Wars is to be bastardised like everything else. What next I wonder? How about a scratch and sniff Mon Lisa? Or lets put a climbing wall in the Sistine Chapel. I’ve always thought Mount Everest could use a McDonalds!

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