Body Language on a First Date

I was recently asked to cover a story on relationships, specifically first dates for a client. In the course of my research I spoke to a lot of people and discovered how much psychology there is in the world of personal introductions and dating.

When you begin dating a person, it’s all very exciting but there’s quite a bit of psychology at work too. Our minds are working overtime forming impressions of our new partner, trying to figure out the signals and words and what they mean for the relationship. We are very sensitive to the tone of their voice or its volume. However around 55% of the information is unspoken, it comes through body language. Much of this is very subtle, just a person’s posture or perhaps some of their mannerisms. We really need to know what they’re thinking, how genuine they are, do they really fancy you and do they want a meaningful relationship?

When people are flirting, it is often quite easy to pick out their body language and learn from it. Little things that may seem obvious, such as smiling at each other, a flick of the hair, a touch of the arm or holding each other’s gaze. Often when two people are fully engaged they may even begin to mimic each other which sounds ridiculous but it’s more common than you might think.

So, when you meet someone, start dating or are hoping to perhaps, be very aware of the following body language indicators.

a)Smile more: Does this sound obvious? Well, I’m from the UK and I can tell you that smiling is a lost art in this country. If someone smiles at you walking down the street in the UK you tend to think they’re a bit mad. But on a date, smiling is vital, it puts people at their ease, makes them feel like everything is okay. Would you believe a smile actually makes you feel physically better?

b)Talk don’t text! : Text messages and emails seem to have replaced phone calls, letters and conversations these days. We’re a lazy lot, sometimes we can’t even be bothered to text! But in a relationship text messages are a NO NO! If you’re really into someone and they send a text, you’re bound to read it and re-read it and then misinterpret it and get worried etc. Talk to eachother, fact to face ideally or at least on the phone … if you can hear the emotion in a person’ s voice there is much less room for ambiguity.

c)Proximity: It may be that you’ve been out of the dating game for some time, or perhaps you’re a bit nervous about any kind of physical suggestiveness, but you need to let your perspective partner know you’re keen. Lean forward, move a little closer (as the song says), don’t overdo it but it does add a bit of spice to a first date.

d)The Eyes Have it!: Men in particular need to know that people find them interesting, it’s also true of women of course but being male I can tell you there’s nothing worse than being ignored. Eye contact, not just flirty eye-flicking (which has its place of course) can make all the difference. Most of us can remember a time when they held someone’s gaze on a first date, and how that starts to get the chemicals coursing through our veins.

These are just a few of the key body language factors to be aware of when on a first date. You may already know this and agree with me, or perhaps you’re just a little out of practice in which case I hope this information helped.